I Am A Rock
by Kitsunehi
Summary: A songfic for Gundam Wing based off the Simon and Garfunkel song of the same name. WuFei-centric.


Disclaimer: This is nothing but a songfic. I am merely borrowing the Gundam Wing   
pilots, the lyrics to Simon and Garfunkel's "I Am A Rock", and the titles of the   
two poems. That means none of this belongs to me, other than the order in which   
these words were put into in the writing of this fic. I'm making no money; I   
have no money. I have a boyfriend, a cat and a fish. If you want to take   
something, there's your choices... but I really would like to keep the fish, if   
at all possible... ^_~ (love you, Honey!)  
  
Notes: ~song lyrics~  
  
  
I Am A Rock  
by Kitsunehi  
  
  
  
Scene: A large brick building stands in the overcast afternoon. Snow is falling   
and everything is silent. It is apparent that this is a school, but everyone is   
gone over the winter holidays, except one person, barely outlined in a single   
window.  
  
~A winter's day  
In a deep and dark December  
I am alone  
Gazing from my window  
To the streets below  
On a freshly-fallen silent shroud of snow  
  
I am a rock  
I am an island~  
  
Shot pans up to where he is sitting near the window of his dorm room, staring   
out at the empty courtyard. The room is barely lit by a single lamp, under which   
lays an open book and a cooling cup of tea, evidently forgotten on the desk.   
WuFei's eyes are wistful, but he suddenly clenches his jaw and shakes his head.  
  
~Up in walls  
A fortress deep and mighty  
That nothing penetrates  
I have no need of friendship  
Friendship causes pain  
It's laughter and it's nothing I distain  
  
I am a rock  
I am an island~  
  
His eyes linger over to the telephone. Quatre had called earlier yesterday,   
asking him if he would please come and spend Christmas with all of them at his   
home. WuFei had coldly informed him that he refused to take part in silly   
activities when there were more important things to be done. A part of him had   
wanted to go, but what would he have done? He wouldn't have felt right being   
there. Duo would have been romping all over the house driving everyone crazy,   
especially Heero, who although he wouldn't admit it would enjoy the long-haired   
boy's attention. Quatre and Trowa would no doubt be playing some sort of music   
together. And that would have left him alone to watch and realize that he could   
never be a part of that easy comraderie the others seemed to share.  
  
~Don't talk of love  
Well I've heard the word before  
I'ts sleeping in my memory  
I won't disturb the slumber  
Of feelings that have died  
If I never loved, I never would have cried  
  
I am a rock  
I am an island~  
  
He looks around suddenly, as if someone might see him. But he knows there is no   
one around at all. Finally, he reaches down into a small satchel, where he keeps   
the very few things he has. There are a few old books, but not much else.   
Picking one in particular up, he opens it up. It is a collection of poetry.   
Flipping through the dog-eared pages, he stops at one, that is marked with a   
half-singed picture of a young woman with black hair and eyes. She is trying to   
look at whomever had taken the picture with contempt, but there is a small,   
beautiful smile tugging at her lips. He almost smiles himself as a painful   
feeling radiates through his chest and traces a finger down the girl's cheek. He   
would never have been allowed such a thing when Meiran was alive and he knows he   
has no right to attempt it now, but he can't help himself. He wonders if she's   
there now, watching him and realizing that he had loved her, even though he   
hadn't known it at the time. The poem the picture had bookmarked was "Love's   
Deity" by John Donne.  
  
~I have my books  
And my poetry to protect me  
I am shielded in my armor  
Hiding in my room  
Safe within my womb  
I touch no one and no one touches me  
  
I am a rock  
I am an island~  
  
He sighs and replaces the picture, not bothering to read the poem. Instead he   
flips to another marked page that contains "Anthem For Doomed Youth" by Wilfred   
Owen. Tucked in the pages is another picture. It is one he does not rightly   
remember where he'd acquired it from. It is a picture of all of them, evidently   
after some mission or other on one of the cargo carriers, so he thinks that   
perhaps Howard had taken it. Heero was busy at his laptop as usual, Duo   
chattering away at the Japanese boy, who seemed to not be listening, but WuFei   
could barely make out something of a faint smile on his lips. Quatre was talking   
to Trowa, who was listening carefully as he bandaged the blonde boy's arm.   
Finding himself in the picture was easy; he was the one standing away from the   
others, looking away from them as though there were something vaguely facinating   
off the ship.  
  
He swallows hard, trying to disolve the lump in his throat, closing his stinging   
eyes. It hurts, but this way, he won't have to deal with the worst kind of hurt   
that would come later on when one of the others died. It was better to keep   
himself away from them. He shakes his head again, trying to clear his mind. Men   
don't cry, especially about being alone, when that condition is one that he   
chooses. He had told Quatre that he wanted to be alone, so why did it hurt so   
much?  
  
~And a rock feels no pain  
And an island never cries.~  
  
Shaking his head, he replaces the picture in the book and takes a sip of his   
tea. He grimaces, realizing it has gone cold. He sets the cup down and picks up   
another book, taking his place near the window again, glancing out at the   
snow-covered world before he turns to begin reading. No matter; he was how he   
said he'd wanted to be. Alone with nothing and no one.  
  
It was always safer that way. Wasn't it?  
  
Owari  
  
  
I'm so sorry!! I didn't want to write anything bad about Wu-chan! I love the   
little bugger to bits! But I was listening to this song and it just...fit! WuFei   
fans, please don't kill me... 


End file.
